Why it is a gift to have a sibling
My brother is four years older, 20
centimeters taller and a couple of kilos heavier than me; our blue eyes look
almost identical. These are just facts, neither good nor bad, there is no point in regarding him as a threat for my self-esteem. For me as his
younger sister they are not of importance, what matters are his
wholeheartedness, warmth and kindness.
I believe, that it would be different, if I
had a sister instead of a brother. It would be much harder to describe a
sibling of the same gender objectively, because we tend to compare us with each
other. Seeing that my sister is taller or slimmer than me, might trigger feelings of shame and inferiority, which can
make the relationship difficult.
According to research, siblings may be more
influential shapers of who we become than parents!
For me, especially my mum has influenced
many decisions I have made. She did not tell me what to do or tried to push me
in any direction, but she has expressed her trust and encouraged me to listen
to my heart.
The older I become (this sounds a bit
exaggerated to say at the age of 22!) and the more people I meet, the more
visible becomes the impact of my brother: he taught me that bonding does not
mean to seek conversations all the time, but to understand each other without
words.
After a while I started to enjoy the music he listens to, I love watching basketball games with him and most of the TV shows he likes appeal to me as well.
Whenever I am facing a problem, my brother
is one of the very first persons I address, because I know that he will listen
calmly and make me laugh no matter how bad I feel.
Especially in the time between 18 and 30,
when we move away from home, but still have not founded our own family, a
brother gives protection and hope, that everything is going to be alright.
Siblings teach us to share, to care and to
love unconditionally. We learn to deal with conflicts, to find solutions and maybe most important: we learn to forgive and to be forgiven.
Today, I would describe my conflict
behavior as avoidant and I am sure that the relationship to my older brother
has a certain impact:
First of all, because of my physical advantage, I do not even start fighting as I would lose anyway. Secondly, this relationship has always been far too valuable to endanger
it due to a disagreement.
“Brothers
are like streetlights along the road, they don´t make distance any shorter but
they light up the path and make the walk worthwhile.” Chinese saying.
